Whether you’re letting go of a cherished idea or person or a vision of how life was supposed to be, it can feel excruciating to leave something or someone behind. It can feel as though you’re losing a part of yourself. Sometimes you might even feel attached to your anger and resentment.
However, letting go can be an empowering act, as it forces you to develop important resources like courage, compassion, forgiveness and love. Answer the following true/false questions to discover how well you release what’s no longer viable:
- I have a hard time letting go of grudges. When someone does me wrong, they are permanently on my “bad” list.
- I somehow feel it’s “noble” to never give up, and this has caused me to stay in unhealthy relationships or situations.
- When an intimate relationship ends, it can take me years to get over it.
- I spend a lot of time living in the past—sometimes reliving old glory days, sometimes replaying what I wish I’d done differently.
- When I make a mistake, I can’t stop dwelling on it and kicking myself.
- I feel paralyzed by my fear of the unknown. I can’t let go of what I have when I don’t know what will replace it.
- When negative emotions arise, I allow myself to fully experience all my feelings, and I quickly find myself in a better emotional state.
- Leaving behind a situation that isn’t working for me is the most self-caring thing I can do.
- Finding a way to forgive someone—and sometimes myself—allows me to release anger and blame.
- When I’m in conflict with someone, sharing my feelings allows me to feel heard, release my negative feelings and return to a place of peace and connection.
- Although keeping the status quo may feel safer, I am committed to making choices that help me get out of my comfort zone and grow.
- When dealing with the grieving process around the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship, ultimately finding a way to accept what IS, even though still sad, brings me greater peace.
If you answered true more often in Set 1 and false more often in Set 2, here are a few things you can do to help you move on.
- Seek wise counsel. Fools think their own way is right,
but the wise listen to others – Proverbs 12:15. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member for support during a time of or transition. It can be helpful to have someone who can give you an objective view of your situation and listen to your visions for the future.
- Nourish your mind, body and soul. “Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort.” ~Deborah Day. You can’t give what you don’t have. Letting go and moving on can drain your energy. Ensure that you are taking care of yourself to avoid negative physical or emotional impact.
- Give yourself a break.
Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. Hermann Hesse
Letting go is not easy. Moving on or making changes in your life can be daunting. Break down the change into baby steps. Celebrate the first step and then move to the next. It is easy to digest a change in small chunks.
With Love & Wonder,
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Angela M. Joyner, PhD is the Founder of The Wonder Loft, a positive leadership coaching practice for women. Through her writing, teaching, and leading curated workshop experiences, Angela helps women discover their unique brilliance, have more confidence and flourish. Her mission is to nourish the minds and souls of women around the world. Learn more at http://www.thewonderloft.com.